Sep 30, 2007

The Everest Challenge Disaster

I made the disappointing discovery of why so many people fail to finish Everest Challenge (EC) on their first try. It's hard. Hard beyound explanation. I know this because finishers and non-finishers of the event have explained its difficulty to me and their tales failed miserably. Their description of the route was accurate, however, short of throwing me to the ground and stomping on my legs and stomach while cursing my mother's name; there is no accurate description of how actually riding EC will make you feel. And I didn't even finish the first day.




Sure, a better analysis of the course profile and better examination of the huge time gaps between finishers in past results would have told me that EC is not a bike race. It's an endurance event. Instead, I thought, "I can climb with the best of them." Them, of course, being past winners of the event. And so, with very little EC training, me, my parents, Denise and Ryder drove up to Bishop, and I gave it a go.

My goal was to finish until we hit the base of the first climb, and because I think I can climb with the best of them, my goal turned into winning. Ironically, that's when all of the steep and long ascents of EC came descending down on me. If I remember correctly, I was the second to crumble in our 8-man break. I wrote a check with funds from my mind that my body couldn't cash. The oddity, for me anyway, is that the final nail in the coffin was cramping and after five-and-half hours and 90-some miles, I pulled a Petachi. Within 10 uphill kilometers of the finish, and I couldn't close the deal. As I rigidly climbed into the Freeman team car, I was careful not to shut my tail in the door.



I got over the disappointment quick. Especially after we drove day two's final 20-mile climb and instead of cheering spectators lining the course, it was snow. Epic roads and epic scenary don't always make for epic bike racing. I'm not discrediting those who finish because it's an incredible feat, especially for the headstrong that take upwards of 8 hours to finish the first day and then wake up to ride again. I'm just saying that it took failing for me to discover that Everest Challenge isn't my Everest. And finishing it isn't enough for me either. To do it right; to actually have a chance at winning, I think I'd have to dedicate about two months to EC. There's just too much fun stuff to do on a bike other than train for a single two-day event. Life's too short for that shit.

Now the good stuff:



Wake up sleepy kid! It's 6 o'clock in the morning and it's time to go follow Daddy up and down the Sierra Nevadas for hours on end from the back of Jeep Wrangler. Bring Mickey and your dog without a name. They can suffer too.


Awe, the start of bright new day. I should have said my apologies then.


The silver lining was the scenery.

The ruined rider and Grandma CindyJoyce watch Ryder throw bread to the birds. Note, that if my numb hands weren't between my legs, you'd probably be able to see my tail.


The ride up to Bishop is a long one, so my Dad and Ryder split up driving duties...


...which resulted in, yet another, run-in with the law for Ryder. Luckily he made bail.


Ryder's luck continued throughout the weekend when my parents treated him to a visit to a choo-choo train museum and to dinner at Whiskey Creek on Saturday night. I think he had steak.

It was a pretty good weekend and awfully nice of my parents to spend it with us.

Sep 29, 2007

Before Everest Challenge, there was Disneyland


Ryder discovers that it is, indeed, a small world. He was so joyed by all the peace, love and tolerance that he nearly went overboard. For real. I told him that the water in It's a Small World is actually Disneyland's recycled toilet water, but that didn't prevent him from trying to reach out of the vessel and dip his hands in the Disney holy water. He broke rule number one.



Securuity is tight. If you don't keep your hands and arms inside It's a Small World, they throw you in the Disneyland Mobile Clink with your next of kin. We were sentenced to 5 to 10 (minutes) on the Casey Jones Railroad.


The moment of truth. For his good behavior, Ryder was forgiven for his crime and granted a full pardon by the warden.


The whole experience was exhausting.


Before we could sneak him on to Space Mountain, Ryder passed out and so we called it a day. Next time.