I first met
Jamie around 1994 when he was about 5 or 6 years old. I can’t remember what he rode back then, but now 20, he rides KXF450s for Kawasaki in the Endurocross and World Off-Road Championship Series. He attends Crafton Hills College and does odd jobs to supplement the money he makes from racing. He’s an entrepreneur of sorts and recently bought some massage chairs to place in laundromats, hoping to turn a profit. Personally I think it’s a horrible investment, but I don’t even like money. Jamie does.
I became friends with
Joy about 3 years ago when a bunch of us boys took her and
Christie Pleiss on a night ride. Both girls showed up with lighting systems from the depression era. That ride became known as the Helen Keller ride. Many crashes, many group rides, and an age-class National Mountain Bike Series Championship later, Joy is now one of the fastest Pro Women mountain bikers in California, racing for Cole Wheels/Martin Transportation. Personally I think Cole makes horrible wheels. Anyway, the 28-year old makes her money by “rolling the ball out” as a PE teacher at Redlands Adventist Academy.
So, what do Jamie and Joy have in common other than their professional athlete status? They both live rent free! Jamie lives with
Meredith and
Joey Lanza (my sister and her husband) and Joy lives with local mountain biking legend
Greg Johnson and his wife and daughter,
Darla and
Paige. How did they score these free-loading living arrangements and what else do they have in common?
What kind of chores do you do around the house to earn your keep?
Joy Duerksen: I used to work at a bed and breakfast. I have a ton of tricks up my sleeves. I like to move things around so it looks like I have done some work. Although this takes some time, it’s never quite as taxing as actually doing something. I am a domestic duty specialist and really good in the dish department. Also, if I leave a mess for a bit, then clean it up, this makes me look productive too. I also do my own laundry and clean my own bikes. Oh yes, I put water in the dogs dish.
(Is it for the same dog that you let out and made live on the streets for a week? –MF)
Jamie Lanza: What chores? Actually, I mow the lawn and cook dinner on Monday nights.
What was your first bicycle?
JD: It was blue. I was 5. That was the first time I got stitches in my face.
(Bad habits are hard to break. – MF)
JL: A 20” DK Six Pack.
Do you ever get tired of your landlord?
JD: Beggers can’t be choosers, Matt.
JL: Nope.
(What about that time you & Joey got in a fight and would only communicate through Meredith? That’s hilarious. – MF)What actor should play me if they made a movie about my life?
JD: Since I only watch reality TV, it wouldn’t actually be an actor. Maybe Brett Michaels, from Rock of Love. Because he’s white.
(You and Brett Michaels disgust me. – MF)
JL: I don’t know any anorexic male actors.
(I’m only anorexic on Monday nights when invited to your house for dinner. – MF)
What are your racing goals for 2008?JD: You know I can not disclose that stuff. What type of question is that Matt? That’s like saying, “Here girls, this is how you can ruin me.” I don’t think so.
JL: Top 10 WORCS number, a couple top f55 finishes would be nice and to qualify for all the Endurocross Main Events, plus the U.S. ISDE Team.
What happened the first time you rode a motorcycle?
JD: It was a supped-up 50. I had no idea how to work the thing. I thought brake, like an MTB, and it bucked up like a pony at the rodeo. I flew off the back and it went about 10 feet in wheelie mode. I thought I broke my thumb. This was like 3 years ago. I have never been on one since.
JL: I got the holeshot in my first race (Adelanto GP) while riding a purple spray painted PW50.
When and how did you accept bicycles into your life?JD: It was a Wigi Board in 1998. The rest is history.
(Wigi Board? Maybe I should have asked you when and how did you accept the devil into your life? – MF)
JL: I always rode bicycles, mostly on a 20" when I was younger thinking I could be the next big thing at the X-Games. Then motorcycle racing got more serious for me so I began mountain biking for training. When I moved down here I got into road biking.
If you found $500 what would you buy me?JD: I would give you 3 years worth of car wash and detail vouchers from Hospitality Car Wash on Redlands Blvd. your car is atrocious. I can’t believe you take Ryder in there. I may have to place a call to OSHA if you don’t shop-vac that thing ASAP. I also had to take some clothes to the cleaners because I brushed up against one of your doors.
JL: 2.7027 shares of Apple stock.
What are your living arrangement plans for 2009?
JD: I have a list of people requesting for me to stay at their homes. I don’t know if you know it or not, but I am a hot commodity. It will come down to a lottery and who has bike tools, a pool, BBQ, hot tub, extra bikes, the desire to watch EVERY reality TV show with me and discuss them at length, DVR and really good food. I guess the Johnson’s just won. LUCKY!!! I actually tried to leave after 6 months and they posed an intervention.
JL: My dad is supposed to buy a house down here then I will be out on my own, or if I would get my act together in WORCS I could buy my own house. Or possibly continue to live "The life of Riley," as Joey likes to say.
This near crash at Mammoth Mountain Motocross, saw Jamie nearly trade a bed at Mer & Joey's for a bed at Mammoth Hospital.
Joy used to reside in Forrest Falls, so pretty much anywhere she lives from here on out is an improvement.
Last Thursday at bike practice, some idiots with their heads down ran Joey straight into this road construction sign. He had nowhere else to go but hit it head-on. After he went down he remounted and kept on riding. The metal sign was completely taco'd before it was straightened out the next day. It should say, "Keep Your Head Up" instead of "Keep Right" to remind dudes to KEEP THEIR HEADS UP! No one would have come close to hitting it if everyone was looking ahead toward the FRONT. I realize that for most people the words, "front of the group" is a horrifying thought, but you should try it sometime. It may actually help you get faster, stronger, and tougher.
They may only be boys, but Destry and Ryder are already tough. Just look at the war wounds on these two bruisers.
They're so tough that they nap outside on concrete next their bikes.
When they're not being tough, they're being nice kids, but most of the time they're being tough. They're so tough, they don't really need helmets or water, but what can you do when the cops and Child Protective Services insist on softening up our youth?
Mountain bike races don't get much tougher than Rim Nordic and 90-degree temps.
It's tough working on your bike barefooted.
It's also tough when your workbench is at eye level. 
