When I was a kid we had one toaster. It was metal and it was shiny and I think it out-lasted me in our house in Rialto. That toaster lived through several electric chord replacements and tens of thousands of bread and English muffins. Not long ago Denise & I got a plastic black toaster, probably from Target and from day one, it never worked right. Because I’m a cheap-ass I refused to buy a replacement for the plastic piece of junk until it actually broke. It finally broke, but only one side of quit toasting, so because I’m a cheap-ass, I kept using it. I just had to toast one piece of bread at a time.

After about a week of spending twice the amount of time trying to make & eat breakfast, I concluded that time was money and decided that I’d treat myself to an early Hanukkah gift and buy a new toaster. It just so happens that I had a $10-off gift card to Target (the irony), so at lunch one day, Brett & I braved the holiday crowds, unemployed & stay-at-home moms & set out to buy a new toaster. Our trip was two-fold – also planning to pick up a Christmas gift for the gift drive at work. As it turns out, they had the same piece of shit toaster that I was replacing, but to the right of it stood two toasters. Toasters built the way toasters were supposed to be built – constructed from metal. I chose the dull finished toaster, thinking that it was less likely to show finger prints than the traditional shiny toaster. And what a choice it was. I’m a week into using my new toaster & I’ve had nothing but perfect toast. I’m even craving toast for lunch, dinner & fourth meal. What a difference metal makes.

For the gift drive, Brett, Jenna & I went in thirds on a plastic big wheel.

The new toaster appears to be bullet proof. If you look closely you can see my reflection in the toaster...



The Old P.O.S. Toaster: Who says once you go black, you never go back?

Speaking of rip-offs. Wednesday was Denise’s birthday & 1-800-Flowers screwed up and didn’t deliver the flowers I ordered for her until close to 7 pm last night. Sounds like I should call David Horowtiz or Stone Phillips. Now that I’ve asked around, I’m the fourth person that got hosed by 1-800-Flowers. Moral of the story. Don't send flowers.

I just ran across this photo of an early fall ride that we did up to Poop Out: A signature Johnson/Hepenstal ride, except no one was severely injured and I don't remember any flats.

Here's proof that it's not how flat you can whip it, it's who you know. Eddie Arnett & John Kerr hooked me up with a MBA cover shot & a few inside. I'm the midget on the left with the red rectangle around him.

TCB (Takin' Care of Business)

So much for summer tan lines...

We took Ryder to the beach once this year. He loved it.

Now we're talking about taking him to the snow for the first time. I'm sure he'll love that too.

It's Friday night. I actually got a lot done today. Got my allergy shots cleared with the anti-doping people at USA Cycling, got my iBike partially hooked up, got Denise's iPod Shuffle running and working & I'm currently downloading music while I'm typing this blog. Risky business running two such programs at once with this POS Dell. It appears as if I'm getting a lap top for Xmas, so that gift may lend itself to more frequent blog updates once I get it hooked up wireless. Oh, I almost forgot. I got Denise's Xmas gift online today too. TCB!

Spent 45 minutes on the Power Cranks this morning. I can't decide which is worse, the discomfort of those things or the bordem of them while on the trainer.

Doing the Raincross ride tomorrow morning. Hopefully we'll all stay out of the potholes.


Speaking of the Raincross ride, just in case you forgot, this is what suffering looks like.

Well damn. Something inside me suddenly wants to update this poor neglected thing, yet I’m failing to come up with anything relevant. I could write a long review on the long Redlands Xmas Parade. Nah, living through it was enough. Just think about watching TV, only instead of actually watching a show, you’re watching two straight hours of commercials. That’s the Redlands Xmas Parade. It seemed tolerable last year. At least Ryder enjoyed it.

I could write about the Death Cab show that Denise, Josh, Jeannie & I went to on Tuesday night. Okay. The Bren Events Center at UCI (no, not that UCI – the University of California at Irvine. That UCI), which is their basketball arena. It was a pretty good place to see a show. It’s not too big and even sitting near the top, we weren’t too far away. Some people apparently paid admission just to hang out and not watch the show. Like the two hags sitting behind us, who wouldn’t shut up. I thought they were filming a talk show in the row behind us. Then there was the girl, whose name was Scooch according to her brother, sitting in the row in front of us. She filmed the entire show with a small hand-held video camera. It’s probably already up on Utube.

The show itself was just so-so. Denise & Jeannie thought it was good. Don’t get me wrong, they played some kick-ass stuff. It was just too far and few between and the Pogues show may have ruined all shows for me, since they're such a great live band. I thought the opening band kicked ass. They’re called Jenny Lewis with The Watson Twins. I bought one of their CDs and it’s pretty good. They’re kind of like Patsy Cline meets Jack White or the White Stripes.

Other than that I’ve been riding the hell out of my bikes. Four to 6 hour rides on the weekend and hour plus trainer workouts during the week. Some dumb-ass forgot to call out a pot hole on the Raincross ride last Saturday resulting in several flats and destroyed wheels. There was probably about 50 or more of us single-file going full throttle and BAM! Water bottles flying all over the damn place. Luckily no one was killed. Oh, and I got chased by a dog on the Sunday ride.

I can’t get enough of The Valley of The Shadow of Death by The Tossers. I’ve probably listened to it ten times in the last two days. Plus they’re working on a new album that will be out early next year.

I wonder what Ryder is doing right now?

Finally, something newsworthy

A spy photo of George and his National Championship Jersey courtesy of Greg Johnson. Greg was Georgie's driver over the weekend during the newly-crowned National Champ's whirlwind Southern California promo tour. I wonder if my name ever came up in conversation as they drove all over the damn place?

It's Christmas time, which means my mom is hounding us all for our wish lists. I emailed her a list of some stuff that she could purchase for me on-line. Here's her reply:

"Okay. If your other items are to be ordered you better get a move on it.
Love, Mother"

So, I guess I better get a move on it. Later.

I've got a lot to say...

but no time to say it.

Of course, this speaks volumes.

Work, a little bike riding & life in general has taken precedence over blogging & it appears as if I’m not the only one. Country Jimmy & Christie are slacking too. At least I’m in good company.

What’s new? Not much. In one week we’ve had 3 newsworthy stories near our place: A fire on Morton Peak (a few houses burned down), a police stand-off around the corner & a dead body popped up in a field off of Sunset & Ford. You’d think I lived in the L.A. area with news like that. The good news is that the pool gets its virgin swim tonight. More bad news is that Denise has gone back to school, but the silver lining in that deal is that Ryder gets to spend his days with Cousin Alex. More good news is next Tuesday I’m doing a photo shoot with Mountain Bike Action. The bad news is they’ll probably make me wear some gay baggy Fox clothing instead of our team kit.

As far as racing goes, Brian Head went pretty well. I nearly made the main split on the opening 4-mile climb to Brian Head Peak. Actually, I was within inches of making the split, but then Barry Wicks blew by me, I jumped on his wheel & that acceleration was just enough to make me blow. Regardless, I finally found myself in fairly good company for much of the race. Some pretty stout dudes, like Wicks & Steve Larsen popped off on the opening climb before I did. Again, at least I was in good company. A weekend later, I did a stage race at Rim Nordic, in which the Hill Climb & Dirt Crit went well, but the actual XC race was a disaster. It was one of the great breakdowns of my lifetime.

Now the plan is to put in a serious CX effort. I’m dropping grams off my cross bike & McKovich has me in the gym building muscle for dismounts & barriers. My real motivation for racing cross is so I can see Ryder ring his new cowbell lap after agonizing lap. Ryder has a fever & the only cure is cowbell. He loves ringing it & I can’t get enough of him, so it’s a perfect situation. And I get to race my bike too.

That’s it. Here’s some photos.

Fact: 4 bike cases, gear bags, backpacks & passengers will not fit in a minivan or a Dodge Durango. You must upgrade to a Suburban.


Could they really mean, Phonak Staff Entrance?

I can check going to a Pogues show on my list of life-long goals. After nearly a decade of not playing in the U.S., with Shane on vocals, the boys from county hell finally buried the hatchet & sobered up long enough to make it to the west coast in October. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that Shane's liver holds up until then.


Someone else out there has the same Suffer tattoo as I do. What the hell?

I've been doing more of this kind of suffering these days.

I ran across this from a few years ago. Turner tows the line & I'm pretty sure that's Zuke third wheel back. Looks painful.

Bikes, Babies & being a Bike Riding Baby

On Friday, my sister & Joey had a baby by the name of Destry Joseph Lanza. I like Joey's shirt.



Ryder is very happy to have a new cousin.


Soon, Ryder & I will be doing this...


... here.

Well, we did it. Trevor, Josh, Christie, Joy & I ventured to the town that Redford built to race our bikes. The outcome is/was mixed, depending on who you ask, how you look at it & what you believe. Having recently suffered a 2-week sinus infection, the cards, which are already stacked against me, were stacked against me, this time in a Pinochle deck. A lap-and-a-half into the 4-lap massacre, I sat up (again) & called it a day (if not a season), yet kept riding my bike at a pre-ride pace. The number of broken souls scattered throughout the mostly single-track race course became greater around every bend & confirmed that just finishing this one was somewhat of an achievement – even if it meant doing it at a snail’s pace. Now, I can sit here & write all kinds of excuses on why I just couldn’t buck up & suffer through the pain & discomfort, & why I finished 67 of 84 (those behind me were mostly DNFs), but I won’t. My Pro-class peer, Nick Martin sums it up best…

“If you have had the privilege to race in a Pro XC you know how crazy it is to break through the top 20.... It has taken me two full seasons to finally make the jump. If you hestitate for one moment or start to show any sign of weakness, there are 5 guys waiting to blow by you and take your spot. Everything has to click...”

Things bike related haven’t clicked much at all this year & they weren’t about to start on Saturday. As I sat in the Deer Valley First-Aid tent being treated for what may or may not have flown up my nose on my fourth & final lap, all I could think about was Ryder & how all this suffering just doesn’t do the trick for me anymore. Maybe it’s A.D.D., but the next thought that popped into my head was, getting my bike ready for Sunday’s Short Track. Seconds later – I was wondering what Ryder was doing at that very moment. And then it clicked. It, being the final latch on bike case that Johnson had lent me for the Park City trip. By 9:00 AM on Sunday morning, my bike was packed & I was officially a NORBA Nat’l spectator. The Canuck sure stuck it to ‘em on Sunday & I watched it from the sidelines. I would have been a spectator anyway because everyone, but the top 8 got pulled – making over 75-percent of the Pro Men’s field a spectator, but that's Short Track racing for you.

I could go on & on about how many times my race schedule has changed since Saturday, but I won’t, because it will change many times - just in the time it takes you to read this self absorbing blog. Sulking aside – let’s talk about the non-race-related stuff that went on around NORBA number 4.

Remember when a family could pack up everything but the kitchen sink in a minivan for a weekend away? Those days are gone apparently. The affects of big government beared its ugly head on the fit, form & function of the minivan. Upon our arrival at the SLC Advantage Rent-A-Car desk, the bleached blond behind the counter informed me that a Dodge Carravan wouldn’t be big enough for 4 bikes & bodies. She suggested a Durango & I said, nay, insisting a Durango wasn’t any bigger than a Carravan. We tried to sell me on stow-and go seating & after 10 minutes of trying to cram 4 bike cases, 8 bags & 4 humans into the thing I celebrated my one & only victory of the weekend. We up-graded to a Suburban & spacious as it was, it was still a tight fit. The thing was dope though, in every sense of the word, & so we rolled-deep through Park City for a weekend.

Speaking of our Suburban… wait, I’ll let Christie tell this story.

For what space we lacked in our rental car, we more than made up for in our condo. It was huge: 2 stories, 2 bedrooms, 4 beds, 3 sofa beds, an infinate amount of closets, 3 bathrooms & one fridge that didn’t work. I wasted a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, but that was a small price to pay for such a big pad. Oh, the best part, we got to watch OLN all weekend, which meant watching other people (other than myself), who just couldn’t deliver.

The spacious condo & its bunk fridge (pictured on the other side of Trevor's bald head).

Delta, Delta, Delta, can I screw you, screw you, screw you? As in charging us each 100 bucks to ship our bikes from SLC back to Ontario. Did they charge the fat-ass in the row behind me $100 extra so he could over-flow into seats A & C? I’m sorry, but my bike & case only weighed 48 pounds & I saw a few passengers that were carrying that much extra weight in their mid-section. I bet they had to upgrade from a minivan to a Suburban too.

Of course, blood doping, EPO, steroids & the frequency of drug testing was a big topic of conversation over the weekend & interestingly enough Todd Wells, who was absent from Park City, had this to say on his website the other day:

“This morning Winston was running around the room crazy so I decided to let
him out. Once he got out there he started barking like crazy. I ignored it for a
little while but then I decided to see what all the noise was about. USADA was
waiting at the front door to watch me pee in a cup. Usually they don't come that
early but today they came early. It's good when they come early b/c you have to
pee right away but it sucks waking up that early.”

Yeah, Todd, that really sucks. My dog wakes me up early in the morning all the time, but unfortunately it’s I can watch her pee in the yard. It’s never because the USADA is waiting at my front door to watch me pee in a cup because I’m a big-time factory Pro bike racer & get to travel the world on someone else’s dime.

There’s many more stories to tell from Park City, but I gotta go rearrange my race schedule & rebuild my bike so it's ready for the next physical & emotional beating.

I'm Packed

I Need Content

I continue to feel like crap, only I’m getting used to it, so feeling like crap is beginning to feel normal. In spite of all this, I’m still boarding a plane tomorrow evening headed for SLC. Everybody is talking about how they’re hoping to conjure up some mid-season form. Mid-season? We’re already in mid-season? I’m stuck in cold in flu season.

And what better way to remind myself that I currently suck than riding up to Oak Glen with Norm, Craig, Scott Miller & Padgett. Come to think of it, the entire ride was a bad idea for most of us & here’s why:

1. It was a holiday & in the dictionary, the word holiday is defined as a day without work. Riding up to Oak Glen is work.

2. I’m feeling like crap. We’ve already established that.

3. Scott was supposed to be on a recovery day.

4. Craig is supposed to be training for triathlons - not mountain top finishes.

5. Padgett has raced so much this year that he could barely turn over the pedals last week, but for some reason a week later he's riding to Oak Glen.

6. Norm is retired. He doesn’t need to get any faster.

There. That’s just 6 reasons of why we should have made a right off of Oak Glen Rd., headed into Calimesa & spent the rest of the day on holiday.

Our view of Norm as he made us all feel like small hopeless children on Independence Day.

Later in the day I went swimming. Denise & I play-fought in the pool with foam noodles & Ryder thought it was funny. It was funny until Denise hit me in the nose. I vowed to get her back [later in the evening] by shooting a bottle rocket at her, but no one brought any illegal fireworks to Chris’ BBQ.

Happy Birthday Huey!

Heard About Any Scandals Lately?

I've been waiting nearly a year to use this photo (taken at the Deer Valley NORBA Nat'l last year) and what more appropriate time than now...

Anyway, I spent most of the last month, either sick with, yet another sinus infection or resting. As bad luck would have it I got sick at the end of my rest week & by the time I kicked the infection, I had spent about 3 weeks off the bike. I did some little rides here & there, but nothing of any substance.

Since I've been back on the bike, I have done some pretty good mountain bike rides in the mountains with Templeman, Josh, Edward H. & Johnson. I even brought out the camera for Sunday's Santa Ana River Trail ride, but the photos came out bad so I'll spare you all the time. Take my word for it; they were good rides in much cooler weather than down the hill & they're all in preparation for this year's Deer Valley Nat'l, which is next weekend. God help me.

I've got nothing of any importance to report, so here's some new Brandon Bird stuff:

No One Wants to Play Sega with Harrison Ford

Those That Bind

Being a product of the Sesame Street generation, I like this one. I just can't remember its title. I think it should be called, Oscar Practices the Second or maybe Give Me All Your Money.

Random...

I guess the big news is that in an effort to keep Ryder off the streets, we're getting a pool thanks to the generousity of the in-laws.

Go Nicky!

Happy Birthday to Johnson. You share the same birthday as that crackpot Tom Cruise.

Happy belated birthday to Josh. You share the same birthday as, you'll never freaking believe it: Meredith Baxter-Birney and Michael Gross. What are the chances of that? That's a double-whammy. First, I post Those That Bind, Brandon Bird's beautiful tribute to Family Ties and then Josh shares the same birthday as the show's ex-hippie parents. Not only that; Mom & Dad Keaton were born on the very same day. I bet that made for one hell of a birthday party on the set.

What the hell Jan?

Did Ride Around the Bear on Saturday w/Fullford, Grant, Eric Riser, Trembly & a dude from England named Dominick. I wish we could do it more often, but you gamble w/your life riding up 330. On the Fawnskin side of the lake we passed Steve Gildea & I told him to jump on, but I guess he was out for a more “civilized” ride than we were. Good to see he’s riding. Because of the Irwin Lake fire that was still smoking, riding from the Sugarloaf area to Onyx Summit was like eating at a Waffle House. Our total rolling time was somewhere between 5.5 to 6 hours. I had to ride past my house to get in 100. If I have one observation about the ride, it’s how much difference a cassette with an 11 can make compared to a 12. Grant already has some pretty good top speed going down-hill, so I had a hard time even staying in his draft with my 12 (although the 25 sure was nice during the ascents).

After the ride I headed straight to the Hughes’ for Hailey’s birthday party. I finally got to swim with Ryder. He loves the water & has no reservations about dipping his head under water, which has its pros & cons. I’m thinking the kid should have a little fear in him. The rest of the party was fun and… interesting.

On Sunday Johnson pulled my ass around a portion of the Santa Ana River Trail. My legs were wobbly (at best) so we just middle-ringed it for a couple of hours. Then I finally finished the roof on the patio cover, pulled some weeds & did other yard work. Late in the evening I actually went back out, this time on the TT bike, trying to scout out a place to resume crit practice. No-such-luck. I found nothing.

Sunday was capped off with me BBQ’n chicken. Today, Denise & I both feel ill. The good news is that I’m not cooking this Wednesday at Denise’s Leukemia & Lymphoma Society/Team In Training fundraiser. Rubio’s is doing the cooking. If you buy dinner between 4-8 PM & give them Denise’s flyer – 20% of your dinner will go toward Denise’s cause & her next marathon. Or, if you despise Rubio’s because of their horrible advertising campaign, you can donate to the cause by clicking here. Anyway, at some point in the evening Denise & I will both be there passing out flyers. I think even the beer counts toward the 20%.

Any minute now I’m expecting a phone call or email, from my good friend Robert Hordossy because his country just shut-out the U.S. in World Cup play. Here Robert, I’ll even add some fuel to your patriotic fire. A Czech won the Pro Women Short Track race at the NORBA Nat’l on Sunday in North Carolina. I’m happy for you Robert. You guys are finally making up for decades of communist regime. Note: if you clicked on that link, expect a visit from the CIA in the next few days.

This about sums it up.

What else?

Last Thursday I retested with Mike McKovich on the CompuTrainer. After 6 weeks, I made some pretty good gains. It feels great to finally have some structure in all of this bicycle madness. If you’re already putting in the time, I highly recommend getting a coach.

The CA/NV State Road Race Championship is this weekend at Vandenberg. At some point on Friday, I’m heading up there because the 30+ race is at 9:30 AM on Saturday - 74 glorious miles. Sunday’s Pro1/2 is 109 glorious miles & I’m doing that one too. Let me know if you wanna come suffer.

Padgett won another crit this weekend.

Plane tickets are purchased for the Deer Valley NORBA Nat’l and I’m currently on the fence about flying up to B.C. for the Masters World Championships in early September. Maybe I can get Josh to go up there with me. No pressure.

I’m going to miss another Tossers show. It’s this weekend at the H.O.B. Anaheim & they’re even playing with Stiff Little Fingers. Sometimes it sucks to a bike racer, but not really.

I wonder what Ryder’s doing right now?

King of the Blog Slackers

I’m not the only one who’s been slacking on regular blog updates…

Anyway, I guess I have a lot of catching up to do. Here’s what I know:

Denise & I have concluded that Ryder is going to be one of those kids that talks non-stop. This - based on the amount of baby gibberish that currently comes from his mouth.

It’s been hotter than hell, so instead of frying in the valley I road the TT bike from Corona to the beach on Saturday. The headwind was so strong, I had a hard time keeping it much higher than 20 mph. Denise & Ryder picked me up in Huntington & we went shopping. I saw Fullford & Grant at the beach preparing to take some Bobs from their church from Huntington to Corona. I recommended they not go too far because on the way back, they’d be fighting the headwind. I wonder if they too my advice?

Speaking of Fullford, he just moved in to Brookside Park, where Nathan & Jake recently moved in, where Aaron has lived for a long time. Trevor used to live there & so did Bob & Lisa. Wow, I know a lot of people who have lived or live at that place.

Speaking of moving, Josh & Mad Cash finally closed down the Big House. Actually, Josh bought a place about a mile away just off of Lawton. Hopefully he’ll be able to handle his longer commute to work.

Ryder has fat feet.

On Sunday I was on the bike by 7 AM & on top of Onyx Summit (8443 ft.) within a few hours. I mainly just cruised. Cal Trans or someone took down the 7,000 ft. Altitude sign, so when I caught a glimpse of the 8,000 ft. sign off in the distance, I thought I was still 1400 ft. from the summit. As I got closer, I realized that I was only 443 ft. I did the entire ride in cruise mode & it only took 4:30. I should do it more often. It actually turned out to be a near-perfect day: knocked out Onyx before noon & got home in time to watch MotoGP, the Dauphine’ & AMA Superbike from Road America.

There were over a dozen cars parked at the Angelus Oaks turn-out off Hwy 38. I saw a lot of people up there I know: Johnson & Leo, Steve McKovich’s mom & step-dad, Adam Hart & Amon were all up to ride the Santa Ana River Trail.

Round 5 of the CA State XC series was up in Santa Barbara on Saturday. Something inside me told me to skip it. I’m glad I did because it was miserably hot. Click here for results.

Did I post this yet?

Padgett won the 30+ 3/4 CBR crit this weekend with the help of a Chris Hoyt lead-out.

Around the Bear: It’s this Saturday. I’m planning to poach it (as usual). If you wanna go, meet at Stell’s & be ready to roll no later than 7:15. I’m planning a “civilized” pace.

Since my last official post Denise & Ryder finished first stroller at the Run Through Redlands.

For those not in the know: Sunday was a big day for American cycling (and CSC). Zabriskie & Hincapie went 1-2 at the Dauphine’ Prologue. Meanwhile, a little further north, Vande Velde won the Tour of Luxembourg. CSC is straight bad-ass (for those not in the know).

Americans don’t suck at XC: A couple of weeks ago at a World Cup in Scotland JHK got fifth. I’m pretty sure that’s the best World Cup finish by an American man in almost 2 years. Good work! Then again I have to race that dude next month…

June will hurt: So will July, August & September. As far as I’m concerned, my real race season starts this month. It all starts with the CA State RR Championship & get this: I’m going to try & race the 74-mile 30+ race on Saturday & then the 109-mile Pro1/2 race on Sunday. Ouch! The following weekend is 3 days of racing in the San Diego Omnuim & then comes July. Park City, Sonoma NORBA Nat’ls. Then comes Brian Head & Snowmass in August. Finally, some real bike races.

Give Her Money: Denise is training for her fourth 26.2. This time it’s the San Francisco Nike Women’s Marathon in October. All the money she raises will go toward benefiting the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. I’ll have a link to her website soon so you can make your TAX FREE donations online.

Z-Z-Z-Z-Z: This week is supposed to be my rest week, but I think I’ll sneak out & do Sunset on Tuesday. Then I’m testing with McKovich on Thursday, so in reality I get to rest on M-W-F.

For Sale (Tentatively): The Van.

Back in Business: Colbert’s 2-week hiatus ends tonight. Thank God. It’s uncomfortable going that long without hearing any truth.

I wonder what Ryder is doing right now…

Can you handle the truth?

My Best Todd Wells Impersionation

On Sunday I raced round 4 of the CA State XC Series, my 1st in the series. It started out great. Me, Chuck Jenkins & Leo broke away at the start. Later Perry & Mike Lee bridged up to us. I remember looking down at my watch at 19 minutes thiking, if we don't back it down soon, I'm going to pop. Then we hung a left off the road onto a section Longo calls the Grand Tetons & sure enough, I popped. I looked down at my watch & it said 21:-something. I went backwards fast after that & even lost interest a few times. I ended up 8th Pro, but there were a lot of Semipros & some Experts that beat me. Leo ended up exploding too. Lower Fall Line was in the best shape I've ever seen. I wonder why? Could it be because there's no more downhillers chewing it up? Longo did his first race as a 48-year old Semipro & did awesome. It sure would be nice if James & Loren would come back to Big Bear to ride with the old man. You guys should be ashamed of yourselfs. Christie did K&N proud by finishing 2nd Pro Woman & Teri made it all the way to Lower Fall Line in 3rd place & then flatted. That sucks. Trevor was 6th Singlespeed & Templeman got 4th in his Sport category. The dude that won the Singlespeed class finished 2nd American Male at the L.A. Marathon this year with a time of 2:35 or something like that. He was still like 30-something O/A at the L.A. Marathon. Man, that's a lot of Kenyans. Speaking of which, Denise starts training for the S.F. Nike Women's Marathon this week. I go to see Dr. Fox today. Hopefully he can figure out why I can't sleep a whole night. Man, these Gateway keyboards are hard to type on. I wonder what Ryder is doing right now...

Baby Steps

Ryder (my kid - not Hesjedal) & I both took baby steps last weekend. His were literal because he's a baby & he's actually learning to walk. My baby steps were figurative because I finished my first NORBA Nat'l as a Pro mountain bike racer. Normally I wouldn consider just finishing much of accomplishment, but given my most recent results, I was just glad to cross the finish line.

Turns out, racing Elite is really hard. I thought if you could do 2 of the 3 following chores, being a pro bike racer was cake: (1) Maintain a somehwat interesting and/or amusing blog about your training rides; (2) Do your own home renovation, like build a patio cover & hang cabinets; and (3) Pack & unpack inbetween trips & still have time to make it to burger night.

This is not the case. At least not for me. Work, as in a 3-day business trip to Myrtle Beach just days before the NMBS opener; Life, as in having enough time in the day to work, be with family, pick up after the dog, take out the trash & unpack from the Myrtle Beach trip; and Training, as in less than 10 measly hours a week (lately) have all gotten in the way of the cake life of a pro bike racer.

And then there's the fact that after 6 years of this sport & getting to the Elite level, I still make rookie mistakes like takeing only water & not taking any CarBoom! sports drink until the last lap of a 2-hour-plus race in about 80-degree heat. Duh! What was I thinking? And to make a bad situation worse, there was a mix up in the feed & instead of getting a bottle of cramp-dampening electrolytes, I got more water. It didn't really matter. By that time the damage was already done. Luckily, I don't cramp often, but when I do it's of catastrophic proportions. I limped the final 7.1 mile lap to the finish line, at times thinking my legs would no longer turn over the pedals and forcing me to walk my bike. Anyway, that was Saturday's big XC.

For day two's Short Track, I thought I may be able to save a little face, but instead I ran into this...

I'm somewhere in the back of this mess, while somewhere, out of frame, in the front of this mess is Kabush, Wells, Trebon, Decker, Wicks, Craig, JHK, etc. and they're on their bikes hammering. Situations like this make for very very short Short Tracks, especially when you get called up to the starting line toward the back of the call-up list. BTW, Walker Ferguson started in the back with me & he still managed 29th. Nice work Walker. I guess my only excuse is that I have a real job.

Despite getting herded like cattle through said singletrack for the first few laps, it was fun while it lasted. Can't you tell?

Too bad we can't all be like this American Bad Ass! Nice job dude. I think the last time I enjoyed watching a professional athlete put the hurt on his competition was when Ronnie Lott was playing for the 49ers. Never a dull moment for Mr. Horner; and for me too, come to think of it...

Ryder's First, Rummy & More Otter

We had Ryder's Birthday Party at high noon on Saturday. He loved it & did great with a house full of people. Thanks to everyone who came. There are plenty of left-overs if anyone is interested.

The cake




Bella, the birthday boy & his new ball


A boy & his new trike

Drama & Treason at Work...
After a 2-hour doctor's appointment, I came back to work and found this ransom letter taped to my desk.

The ransom note was accompanied by this photo...


I did as exactly as the letter ordered & luckily, Rummy was returned in one piece to me, the rightful owner. There were some tense moments leading up to the Diet Pepsi w/Lime exchange, but as it turns out the kidnapper was bluffing. Typical Democrat.

On a Lighter Note...

I ran across this photo taken during the Pro Circuit Race at Sea Otter. Of all the awesome mud shots taken during the mountain bike racing, I like this one best. Must be the Angel guarding the roof of the Laguna Seca's Corkscrew. I'm sure she helped take the sting out of that last little kicker just before the top.

Happy Birthday Rydie!

I can’t believe it. Ryder will be a year old on Friday & to celebrate Denise & I are having a birthday bash on Saturday. Food catered by Cuca’s, & cake from Stater’s. The lawn is mowed, the new entertainment center is ready to entertain, the new dining room table is up & ready to dine on, and since I decided I’m skipping Bonelli on Sunday, I may even have a few spirits. I can’t wait to see how he does with his cake. The kid is hilarious just sitting around so I can’t imagine what he’ll be like with a piece of cake sitting in front of him.

What Else Is New?
Other than getting shelled at the Los Angeles County Cycling Classic, nothing. Actually, another cold, brought on by 4 days of sitting around in wet clothing up at Sea Otter, prevented me from doing much of anything. Thus, I skipped Friday’s TT (since it was an Omnuim) & showed up for Saturday’s RR, held on the Devil’s Punch Bowl race course. As a 3, I’d done well there, several times, but racing Pro1/2, we were scheduled to do 5 laps (2 more than the 3s). 4-time New Zealand National RR & TT champ, Gordon McCauley won Friday’s TT, so the entire Monex team was on-hand to protect his lead from some Successful Living & Labor Power dudes. Mission accomplished. Chris Walker tried hard early on to cut the fat. The problem was that some of the fat he cut was me. I ended up riding in a bickering chase group all day. Hopefully I’ll be more on form in a couple of weeks when the real Punch Bowl race takes place. McCauley won, with Ryan Yee just seconds behind.

There were a grip of local guys there racing other categories, like Jeff Padgett, who killed the 40+ III/IV field in Omnuim points. For his effort, Padgett was granted his Cat 3 upgrade. Meanwhile, on Sunday, Hoyt won the 3 race at Ontario.

Max Performance Bike Fit
Mike McKovich recently spent two afternoons working with Christie & me up on the CompuTrainer to figure out our current wattage output & then set our bikes up so our wattage would increase. My set-up called for custom soles, a shim underneath my left cleat, a raised & forward-shifted saddle and a new handlebar height. He also got me set up on my TT bike, so I can finally start riding it. On the mountain bike, my wattage output increased by 12-percent. I can’t remember Christie’s numbers, but they were also significant. I strongly suggest working with Mike because the CompuTrainer & the computer program can help to correct all kinds of stuff like uneven pedal strokes & pronating feet. He showed me how my inflexible body & hunched over riding position was binding up & preventing any kind of power output at the top in certain spots of my pedal stroke. I feel like I’ve been wasting my time for the last few years without his help. Thanks Mike!

Mike sizes up Christie's bike.

Random…

Johnson showed me a section of singletrack off of Crafton that I didn't know about. It was pretty sweet. Of course he railed it & left me in his wake, but it was fun enough stuff that I plan on doing it a lot so maybe next time I'll be able to keep up with Gecko.

Loren should be a 2 by the end of the weekend.

On Saturday at the RR, I heard that Roberto Gaggioli threw a bag of water bottles at another rider, from behind the wheel of the Monex team van, because said rider got in the way of a Monex feed. Go figure.

The Mesa Design House leaves for the Tour of Georgia today. When they get back we’ll have new photos on the home page & rider sections of www.inlandvalleyelite.com

Apparently I got off easy on the poison oak from Sea Otter. I talked to James on Easter & everyone up in Bend has it. Josh has a few spots on his legs. They got it pretty bad over at Sager’s and Nick Martin’s too.

Images from Mud Slaughter (a.k.a. Sea Otter)

Courtesy of Greg Pleiss...

Thank goodness our motel room was stocked with towels. The maid at the Rodeway Inn absolutely loved us.

I don't remember being this clean.

Shift you bitch!

This may explain the shifting problem.

Friday's Time Trial was short, but painful. Seeing the results was even more painful. My shifting problems cost me at least 10 seconds & in a 4 minute TT, that meant about 20 spots.

I found the hot line in the final turn of Saturday's Short Track...

...this guy didn't.