When I was a kid we had one toaster. It was metal and it was shiny and I think it out-lasted me in our house in Rialto. That toaster lived through several electric chord replacements and tens of thousands of bread and English muffins. Not long ago Denise & I got a plastic black toaster, probably from Target and from day one, it never worked right. Because I’m a cheap-ass I refused to buy a replacement for the plastic piece of junk until it actually broke. It finally broke, but only one side of quit toasting, so because I’m a cheap-ass, I kept using it. I just had to toast one piece of bread at a time.

After about a week of spending twice the amount of time trying to make & eat breakfast, I concluded that time was money and decided that I’d treat myself to an early Hanukkah gift and buy a new toaster. It just so happens that I had a $10-off gift card to Target (the irony), so at lunch one day, Brett & I braved the holiday crowds, unemployed & stay-at-home moms & set out to buy a new toaster. Our trip was two-fold – also planning to pick up a Christmas gift for the gift drive at work. As it turns out, they had the same piece of shit toaster that I was replacing, but to the right of it stood two toasters. Toasters built the way toasters were supposed to be built – constructed from metal. I chose the dull finished toaster, thinking that it was less likely to show finger prints than the traditional shiny toaster. And what a choice it was. I’m a week into using my new toaster & I’ve had nothing but perfect toast. I’m even craving toast for lunch, dinner & fourth meal. What a difference metal makes.

For the gift drive, Brett, Jenna & I went in thirds on a plastic big wheel.

The new toaster appears to be bullet proof. If you look closely you can see my reflection in the toaster...



The Old P.O.S. Toaster: Who says once you go black, you never go back?

Speaking of rip-offs. Wednesday was Denise’s birthday & 1-800-Flowers screwed up and didn’t deliver the flowers I ordered for her until close to 7 pm last night. Sounds like I should call David Horowtiz or Stone Phillips. Now that I’ve asked around, I’m the fourth person that got hosed by 1-800-Flowers. Moral of the story. Don't send flowers.

I just ran across this photo of an early fall ride that we did up to Poop Out: A signature Johnson/Hepenstal ride, except no one was severely injured and I don't remember any flats.

Here's proof that it's not how flat you can whip it, it's who you know. Eddie Arnett & John Kerr hooked me up with a MBA cover shot & a few inside. I'm the midget on the left with the red rectangle around him.