Justice, kind of

The U.S. Olympic Committee and the Union Cycliste Internationale recognizes me as a professional bike racer so even on a fat day I tip the scales at 145 pounds. If I travel with a bike, combined weight is still under two bills. Unfortunately, the Federal Aviation Administration and the airlines it governs doesn’t care what my UCI or drivers license says. A bike, bike case, tools, and my body weigh the same as the average American male (do the math & Google it), yet when I travel with a bike I am forced to pay anywhere from $50 to $150 extra, each way.

Very rarely will the attendant at the ticket counter waive the fee, but that’s as often as a customer at McDonald’s passing up the super size option. On the flip side, while checking in for a return flight, one attendant threatened to charge me double for escaping the bike fee on my outgoing flight. I talked her out of it, but silently wished the cow a life of unsuccessful dieting.

Sometimes it would actually be cheaper if I bought two round trip tickets and traveled with my bike in the seat next to me, but the chain rings are considered a deadly weapon so that’s not an option.

Well, guess what? My bike and I are still going to have to pay extra to travel with our steeds, but the scales are about to balance. The fellow passenger over-flowing into your middle seat may finally have to pay extra for his gluttonous lifestyle just like I have to pay extra for my healthy lifestyle.

Read it and weep O captain of the couch.

The fuel crisis and the obesity epidemic are apparently secret lovers.