I've got no bicycle or motorcycle stuff to report, but what I do have is termites! The female exterminator, who coincidentally was petite enough to fit into a attic crawl space the size of my computer monitor, found the little devils in one of my favorite man-made structures - my garage. The horror! That's like Rosie O'Donnell finding a fly in her Quarter-pounder with cheese. The good news is that Ms. Exterminator, who also was the spitting image of Sissy Spacik, only found traces of the little bastards in the west wall. The bad news and the real tragedy is that I was forced to rip out the sano peg board, that three of our many bicycles hang upon, until the exterminator can fumigate. Now the garage is a wreck and the bikes have no home. I think I'll move the bikes into the living room for the time being. I guess indirectly everything has something to do with bicycles or motorcycles. Even termites.
To Adam and Venette Spik, who where married on Wednesday, July 31 in Hawaii. According to Adam, his bride was going to sport a scabbed leg on the alter due to a nasty mountain bike crash suffered a couple weeks before the wedding. Hopefully Adam was gentle while removing the garter and didn't rip off the scab prematurely.
I believe they're back on the mainland now preparing for their reception in Riverside this Sunday.
To Mark Foist, who turns 40 this week. Mark's mid-life crisis consists of competing in marathons, triathalons and drinking Mike's Hard Lemonade at Jerseys in Redlands on Tuesday nights. Mark's part of the 38 to 40-year-old hardcore crowd that I seem to spend so much of my time with. Also turning 40 this year (or coming damn close) is jack-of-all trades Aaron Gerth, motorcycle ironman Rick Daniel & the eyes and ears of Park View Middle School Terry Moreno. Then there's Steve Gildea, who got nailed by a car while riding his road bike on a Tuesday and was riding his mountain bike again as soon as the next weekend. In Orange County my 40-club consists of mountain bikers Forrest Hayashi, Mark Thome & Paul Carruthers. And I can't forget my good friend Pocher, who actually turned 40 a few years ago and now resides in Salida, CO. He spends his time designing sub divisions, restoring churches & dragging his KTM 520 EXC out of the Colorado wilderness.
That's a lot of baby boomers. I hope I'm as tough as they are when I turn 30, much less 40. Oh, yah guys. By the way, I heard Foreigner is the guest band on Mohr Sports tonight.
What 35 Bucks will get you at the KROQ/Levi's Inland Invasion at Blockbuster Pavilion in Devore
The final nail in the coffin of punk rock was painfully set this week when the line-up for the heavily publicized KROQ/Levi's Inland Invasion was announced. I'm not going down the list of every pathetic band on the bill, but lets just say the amount of hypocrisy that will fill the Blockbuster stage will be at an all-time high. It's ironic that many of the same bands that preached nonconformity & anti-commercialism for nearly two decades have resulted to an event that will feature the "Sex Pistols Pepsi Encore" and the "Cingular Wireless Offspring Sing-Along." Here's what else you're likely to see or hear:
1. Unwritten Law, New Found Glory and Blink 182 all paying homage to older appearing bands like the "Sex Pistols", Bad Religion, Social Distortion, The Damned, The Buzzcocks & Adolescents, by saying something like, "It's a real honor to perform on the same stage as (insert name of once honorable punk band here)."
2. Mike Ness of Social Distortion will mostly likely go off on a tangent about how he used to be a teenage heroin addict and how he hung out with pimps, winos, hookers & drug dealers. Then he'll say how he feels right at home in Devore and in the Inland Empire because he too is (self-proclaimed) white trash. And the audience will cheer.
3. You'll hear entertaining and at times good music, but you'll also have to hear the Offspring.
4. Pennywise will play two to three moderately entertaining cover songs of old-school punk orgin.
5. The worst and most embarrassing act is sure to be the return of the "Sex Pistols." Johnny Lydon or Rotten (whatever he calls himself these days) is sure to make a complete ass of himself and I wouldn't be surprised if he started a mini riot targeting the yellow windbreaker secruity thugs, who took the gig in the first place so they could see the Offspring without paying the 35 bucks.
6. And last, but certainly not least - the ticket paying public. Where do I begin? Drunk girls, drunk guys, freaks with piercings, freaks removing their shirts, lighting them on fire and swinging them around above their heads, freaks ripping the seats out of the pavilion, freaks fighting, freaks moshing (not pogoing), freaks with lighters, freaks with drugs, freaks passed out, freaks consuming funnel cake, freaks wearing the t-shirt of one of the bands appearing that night and my favorite - freaks that leave after the Offspring is done playing.
Brace yourself when the ground trembles because there's a lot of dead punks soon to be rolling over in their graves. The KROQ/Levi's Inland Invasion will further support the theory that Shane MacGowan, Jello Biafra and Ian McKye are the only real & genuine punks still around. All these other sell-outs should be beaten over the head with William Burroughs' cane, including Social D & Bad Religion.
I hate to end a posting on such a sour note so I'll add that Nathan Hughes just informed me that he inked a deal with a Chevrolet dealership that will see Nathan living in Muscoy for the rest of us life. I don't have the exact details of the contract yet, but it has something to do with a new Chevy Tahoe.