Feb 18, 2009

Just the Facts

Dear Ms. West,
I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt here and assume that the Redlands Daily Facts somehow managed to screw up your letter to the editor during the editing process, or didn’t live up to its title and check the facts before publishing your letter because your letter makes no sense whatsoever based on the following actual facts:

1. Colton Ave in Mentone is about as wide as the 10 Freeway. The umbrella carrying friend could have parked across the street from Ms. West’s house without interfering with traffic, instead of parking a quarter of a mile down the street. Parking is legal on the north and south sides of Colton Ave in Mentone except for one stretch of road on the south side just east of Crafton Ave; however there are no houses on the north side of the street unless Ms. West’s present address is a fenced-in power transformer.

2. A quarter mile is 1,320 feet. The average bicycle is 4 feet in length. If Ms. West’s friend had to park a quarter of a mile away, that means there must have been about 330 cyclists parked single-file west of Ms. West's home and 330 cyclists parked east of her home on Colton Ave. 660 cyclists is one hell of a lot of bicycles. Why don’t I know about this group ride of 660 apparent a-holes that aren’t willing to move for a car trying to park and why doesn't the friend have a functioning horn?

3. If Ms. West had to walk a quarter of a mile in the rain to her friend’s car, does that mean that these 660 cyclists were themselves sitting on the side of the road in the rain? The plot thickens.

I have a suggestion for Ms. West that could help her with some of her problems. Stop reading or relying on the Redlands Daily Facts for your source of news! Its title alone is false representation of a newspaper and a form of false advertising. I suggest she read VeloNews or Cyclingnews.com.

Good thing this Graham Watson photo taken at the ToC didn't occur outside of Ms. West's house...

Although it very well could happen because these scantily clad cavaliers happen to live in the Redlands/Mentone/Loma Linda area and that's a fact.


Anonymous said...

Golden...just golden.

Adam said...

Dude, this is probably one of your best post yet.