PRAY FOR AARON
Just when you think you are really getting to know someone, they throw a curve ball at you. That's what Aaron Gerth did on Tuesday night when he showed up for our weekly ride up Alpe Bluez with an ALUMINUM bike. Not only that, said bike was a FULL -SUSPENSION Trek Fuel (with disc brakes, no doubt) that he had borrowed from Neighbor Bob. When people dangerously experiment with multiple drugs and alcohol at the same time it's called speedballing. Aaron, a self proclaimed advocate for steel, (who I thought I knew well) is speedballing with full-suspension and aluminum. Some people like me or Trevor can handle such dangerous experimentation because we're of a generation that grew up on aluminum, full-suspension and carbon fiber. Still, I prefer to ride a hardtail over a full-suspension bike 99-percent of the time. Trevor, who works in the Information Services department for the county of San Bernardino owns a palm pilot, MP3 player and can speak computer talk that is way over my head, so he could accept that fact that Aaron showed up on a state-of-the-art ride. Rick and I wept and prayed for Aaron's salvation.
“Maybe the devil suddenly grabbed hold of your handlebar.” - Rick’s theory of how Trevor managed a nasty get-off while descending a reasonably smooth portion of Blue Mountain. The end result was a scraped up hip. Personally, I have to argue Rick’s theory. Eminem was nowhere near Blue Mountain last night.
“What day is Thanksgiving on?” - Trevor, which made us wonder if in addition to his hip, maybe he had hit his head too.
To Paul G., who purchased a brand new Giant road bike and has already been riding it to work. It won't be long before Paul is smoking all those other non-road bike riders that we know on the mountian bike trails.
“Your troubles will cease and fortune will smile upon you.” - The message in my fortune cookie from today’s lunch, which is proof positive that the Peeking Noodle Co. should stick exclusively to making noodles and leave fortune telling to women named Madam Somethingorother.
No Meredith, the answer to my stupid question is not Animal House. Nathan Hughes came closest to answering the contest question most accurately. Nathan answered, “Is the movie PCU? He concludes with the two of them in some movie together or something like that. I guess I need to research a little more.”
I’d say Nathan got 75-percent of the contest correct by naming PCU as the movie that contained the quote and the basis of the thesis. As Americans, you should all be ashamed of yourselves for not knowing the name of the movie that serves as the conclusion for Pigman’s Caine-Hackman Thesis. The movie is A Bridge Too Far, a friggin masterpiece of cinema about the botched Operation Market Garden in World War II. Operation Market Garden followed D-Day and was the Allied forces’ attempt to take control of three bridges over the Rhine River. If the plan (masterminded by the English) succeeded it was intended to defeat the Germans and put a rapid end to the war in Europe. The operation involved twice the number of troops than D-Day, and as I mentioned before the English came up with the plan, so naturally it failed. Historians say Operation Market Garden was destine to fail because it was a complex operation that required too many men, too much equipment and was orchestrated too many miles behind enemy lines, planned to take too many bridges. Hence the name, A Bridge Too Far.
The star-studded cast of The Thin Red Line couldn’t hold a candle to the cast of 1977’s A Bridge Too Far, which included Sean Connery, Anthony Hopkins, Robert Redford, James Caan, Ryan O’Neal, Laurence Olivier, Elliot Gould, and of course, Michael Caine and Gene Hackman.
A Bridge Too Far is significant for me because, for one, it’s a bad-ass movie. Two, I remember watching it on TV with my dad one night about two decades ago and the next day my Aunt Pam gave birth to my cousin Jack. Then, a few years after that my dad and I were watching it on TV again and the next day my Aunt Pam gave birth to my cousin Sarah. For my Aunt's sake, my dad and I don't watch the movie together any more.
Anyway, do what Robert Redford does in the movie. Get in a U.S. Army-issue portable rowboat in the middle of the night and row across the Rhine River while the Germans are bombing you and say, “Hail Mary full of grace,” about 500 times and you’ll be forgiven for not being familiar with the Caine-Hackman Theory.
Congratulations Nathan! You get 75-percent of a Pro Grip jersey.
25-percent of a Pro Grip motorcycle jersey (just like the one that Stephane Peterhansel used to wear) and a pair of brand new Goat Sunglasses, compliments of Joey Lanza, to the first person that can answer the following questions:
1. What was Jacko’s most recent terrible mistake?
2. What was Lisa Marie Presley’s most terrible mistake?
3. Who said, “I’ve never had a problem with drugs. I’ve had problems with the police?” (A) Robert Downey, Jr. (B) Keith Richards (C) Shane MacGowan (D) Gary Busey