I don’t like rodents, especially when they emerge from a tree stump and see their ugly rodent shadows, signaling six more weeks of me freezing my ass off.
If I were in Gobbler’s Knob, PA today, I would have placed a sizzling Weber BBQ over the ceremonial tree stump preventing Punxsutawney Phil from baring his grimy head. That’s what I would have done, and that’s how I would have declared that spring is indeed just around the corner and happy days are here again.
I find it amusing that the time-honored Groundhog Day tradition came to America by way of the early German settlers. It just proves my point – Germans hate fun. They’re where fun goes to die. The exception is the Schmidt family. Not only are they fun, they feed me every tuesday night. Last night we had salmon. Anyway, I digress - winter isn't fun.