In honor of Mother’s Day I thought I’d send my mom and Denise, the mother of my child some interview questions. They’ll answer them individually without seeing the others’ answers. Let’s see if my influence in their lives will lead to similar answers. Oh, and I reserve the right to comment on any answer.
What actor should play me if they made a movie about my life?
Denise: Geez, start off with a hard one! If I get to play myself, then Keanu Reeves. If not, I suppose I'll go with...Matt Damon. Same name, about the same size. (I’m a better actor than Keanu Reeves and I’m not even an actor. – MF)
Mom: I'm still pondering this question. (You’re still pondering this question because you don’t know the names of actors. – MF)
What were you doing when you found out I had crashed at Perris Raceway and was in the Menefee Valley Hospital?
Denise: I was getting ready for a parent meeting at Chula Vista High School. I had to explain to the parent what happened so we made it quick and I got out of there. I was a bit shaken up, so I called my brother and he drove me out there. I had no idea that going to the hospital was going to be a regular gig. Thank goodness those days are over. (Thanks, you just jinxed me. – MF)
Mom: On vacation at the beach up north.
What were you doing when you found out I had crashed coming down Sunset and was at Beaver Clinic getting stitches in my face?
Denise: Wow, that wasn't that long ago and I totally can't remember. I do remember going to the crash site later and all of the pictures you took.
Mom: I was at home - I came to sit with you in the waiting room-- REMEMBER! (Why are you yelling at me? – MF)
What’s your favorite Ryder story?
Denise: I can't think of what my favorite story is (there are so many), but my favorite thing he says is, "Not today; maybe tomorrow."
Mom: I really like how he led the clapping after every song while on stage at the Spring Sing. (It should be noted that Ryder refused to actually sing at the Spring Sing, but he did clap after not singing every song. – MF)
What’s your favorite Twiga story?
Denise: I have so many great memories of her while we were growing up, but now I always think of that whole car dealership bombing thing. I also can't forget how she stuck up for me at my first RHS party (long story), and everyone thought her name was Chiga. (Bombing? I think she set it on fire. There’s a big difference. –MF)
Mom: She reminded me of Mary in the Peter, Paul & Mary.
What do you think of Shane MacGowen?
Denise: I can't get past the teeth. (Beauty is skin deep. - MF)
Mom: Too bad the drugs messed up his voice. (Don't forget about the alcohol. - MF)
Do you think Ryder will ever learn how to use the toilet?
Denise: As I type this, I am smelling a poopy diaper. I told him to go tell Daddy to change him, but he said, "I want Momma to do it." I hope he learns how to use it ASAP. I can't believe stickers and M & M's won't even do the trick. I plan to keep him naked most of the summer so he will quit going in his diaper, but experience tells me he'll probably just crap on the carpet. He's been known to pee on the train table.
Mom: Yes--Have patience.
If you found $500 what would you buy me?
Denise: Some new clothes. I'm sick of hearing you say you don't have anything to wear or nothing fits. Just face it - you should buy extra small. (Extra small may give me a muffin top. – MF)
Mom: A bike accessory--What else?
What was your first bike?
Denise: I don't know, but I think it was yellow and I got it for Christmas.
Mom: I'm not sure what my first bike was but I remember my "Pink Witch" bike from Don’s.
If Ryder and I decide that he’s going to forgo college, move to Europe and become a pro bike racer, are you going to give us grief?
Denise: Isn't that what I do best? (Yeah, you’re pretty good at it. – MF)
Mom: No-I'll go on tour with you guys.
So far, how do you like being a mother?
Denise: I love it. Even though he sprayed me with the hose tonight when I asked him to turn off the water and his favorite thing to say to me is, "You are a bossy engine!" he is the best thing in the world. (Maybe if you weren’t giving him grief, he wouldn’t call you a bossy engine. – MF)
Mom: IT'S THE BEST GIFT IN THE UNIVERSE! (Quit yelling at me Mom. I’m not a child anymore. – MF)